Lots of people think I’m an amazing defender and to be honest I think I’m not overly bad and I know i can do some really really good things and I have done some really really good things but I know that I need to at some stage very soon is have the courage to truly back back into a pack knowing that your about to get crushed by what is seemingly a big train or truck which runs through your back and can potentially cause you a lot of pain.
I suppose the thing that I learnt from years of playing footy was that when you truly commit and back back into a pack and commit to the ball I had never every been hurt. The only time I ever got hurt in a pack situation in footy was when I went weak and bailed out the side and was a bit squeamish, that’s when the people who were committed would hurt you because you hadn’t met their force I suppose. But I suppose you learn to do that in footy because of how bad it looks when you don’t back into a pack. If you get really hurt backing back into a pack its almost like a badge of honor and everyone like the coach and teammates are like that’s awesome and courageous etc etc.
Where as the culture of volleyball is heavily influenced by Europe and they all play soccer where they pretend to get hurt but they never do because it’s a very painless game compared to footy. So in volleyball it’s like you get made fun of and its an insult on the ego when you get hit the face. That’s why I think my subconscious hesitates when there is no block and a massive hitter is about to pound straight down that I don’t rush in with my full heart not caring about my face. I need to rush and get an up off an impossible hit from they you know whose of the world and not care about my own safety for me to evolve to the next level and truly be courageous.